
BERLIN (The Borowitz Report)—In an effort to practice social distancing, the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, is staying four thousand miles away from Donald Trump, Merkel has confirmed.
Merkel’s decision to decline Trump’s invitation to a possible meeting of the G-7 in Washington was based “entirely on science,” Merkel told reporters.
“Epidemiologists have recommended that, in order to be safe, one should social-distance by six feet,” she said. “It only stands to reason that I will be even safer if I social-distance by twenty-one million feet.”
Merkel said that she was taking the extremely cautious social-distancing measures regarding Trump because of “the danger posed by being in proximity to someone who speaks so loudly and incessantly.”
“His mouth is like a firehose of droplets,” she said, shuddering.
Asked whether she would reconsider a White House visit if Trump agreed to wear a mask, she said, “Donald Trump with a mask is clearly a big improvement over Donald Trump without a mask, but no.”
The German leader added that she could envision making a trip to the Oval Office if “events on the ground change,” most likely in January of 2021.

Alan: If only the main stream press would boycott His Maleficence...
It would be fitting and just if the only coverage given to Jack Ass were by Fox News, Breitbart, Daily Stormer, QAnon and One America News, every one of these media outlets hell-bent on the destruction of America's already vestigial democracy.
***
You be the judge...
QAnon, The Trumpista "Deep State" Conspiracy Movement Glorifying America's Cultural Collapse
https://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2019/08/learn-all-about-qanon-right-wing.html
"Head Of DOJ Or QAnon?": "The "Deep State," Demonization And The "Evidence" Of Conspiracies
https://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2019/11/head-of-doj-or-qanon-demonization-so.html
https://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2019/08/learn-all-about-qanon-right-wing.html
"Head Of DOJ Or QAnon?": "The "Deep State," Demonization And The "Evidence" Of Conspiracies
https://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2019/11/head-of-doj-or-qanon-demonization-so.html
If Bloomberg is serious about spending a billion dollars to elect Biden, he "should" launch a social media platform structurally similar to Facebook but called something like "Social Network For Progressives Pissed Off At Facebook."
Or maybe progressive billionaire Nick Hanauer would take an interest in creating such a site as a profitable business. (Mark my words... If someone creates such a site before possible "fascist lockdown" in the fall, that fellow will become both a billionaire and a national hero.)
Or maybe progressive billionaire Nick Hanauer would take an interest in creating such a site as a profitable business. (Mark my words... If someone creates such a site before possible "fascist lockdown" in the fall, that fellow will become both a billionaire and a national hero.)
For the sake of a great acronym, this new platform could be called "Social Network For Liberals" - SNL for short.
This new network would unabashedly state its intention to keep trolls and other giddily mendacious assholes off the site.
Internet Trolls And The End Of Civilization As We Know It
Trump's Most Egregious, In-Your-Face Fascist Declaration: "We're Going To Have To Do Things..."
"Frank Zappa Prophesied A Fascist Theocracy.
Barry Goldwater Agrees"
Barry Goldwater Agrees"
Pope Francis Warns Against Nationalism, Says Recent Speeches Sound Like "Hitler In 1934"
http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2019/08/pope-francis-again-warns-against.html